Typical Toddler Behaviors

String Bean has been exerting her independence lately, which I'm told (and I read) is typical behavior of a two-year old. Here are some examples:

• No longer am I allowed to button her jacket.
• Nor unbutton it.
• Shoes are apparently up to the wearer to pick and put on.
  
• And take off.
  
• If I give String Bean two choices of dresses to wear, she will chose neither. It is as if she is saying, "I need options, Mom!" (I had my best success when I laid 9 dresses on her bed and sent her into her room alone to pick out one.)
• When told, "You are wearing your monkey pajama pants," a toddler remembers that she has 2 pairs of monkey pajama pants. No matter which one I pull out, it would be the wrong one. Tears follow.
  
• Although coloring is a favorite activity, if it is my idea, String Bean isn't interested...until 15 minutes later.
  
• Leaving the house has become a chore. "I need this," is the common cry I hear as String Bean goes around the house picking up random objects and toys to take along on the quick run to pick up the babysitter.
  
• Don't get me started on accessories.
  

The Joys

Anyone who has ever had the joy of carrying a child knows that pregnancy is not all kicks and glowing. Today I am enjoying the joy of the sciatica pain. In addition to that I've learned I am anemic (which explains my exhaustion as of late).

It is fun, however, to watch String Bean talk to and about Ooh-Ah. "Night, night, Ooh-Ah!" and "Ooh-Ah crib," among other things are often said at our house.

I do realize, however, that my pregnancies have been so much easier than many of my friends' pregnancies. Morning sickness? Nearly non-existent. Except for the sciatica, nearly no pain at all.

It is more difficult to be pregnant when you have a toddler who insists on being carried.

Things You Should Know...

...about decorating for Christmas with a toddler

1. Verbal commands such as "stop" and "gentle" suddenly mean nothing when the glow of Christmas lights captures them.
2. Expect shrieking, screaming, jumping up and down, and possibly temper tantrums from your husband (well, if a Bears game is on while you're decorating anyway).
3. Empty boxes are fun to stack and knock down. Be sure the ones your toddler grabs are indeed empty.
4. If you have a toy shopping cart at your house, it is amazing what chores associated with decorating you can get your child to do.
   
5. If you have one of those ornaments that you touch to turn on and off the tree lights, be sure not to do so in the presence of your child. You will regret it the rest of the season.
6. Animal ornaments are a crowd pleaser.
7. When setting up the nativity scene, be sure to explain whose birthday it is. Inevitably your child will respond to the question, "Whose birthday is at Christmas?" with "Daddy!" *slaps self in forehead* We are working on correcting this although technically, she's right.
8. When chopping down your Christmas tree, picking a field that is without mud is desirable.
9. Mittens are also desirable.
10. When your toddler experiences Christmas for the first time (in her memory anyway), the reactions are simply priceless. Have your camera ready (and battery charged)!
    

Toddler Wake-Up Call

There are things in life that only a mother gets to experience. Take for example, my short-lived nap yesterday.

First, I'll admit I shouldn't have been taking a nap on the couch because Mr. Bean wasn't home and String Bean was wide awake. Second, I'll admit, I shouldn't have poured a full cup of ginger ale and put it on the coffee table beside me before falling asleep.

Despite my mistakes, I should mention that it was not my intention to fall asleep with a glass full of ginger ale on the table. Early morning + late night + pregnancy = One tired mom.

I can't say for sure, but I think my nap lasted a total of 1 minute. I awake to String Bean standing over me, a sensation of cold wetness on my arm, and the screams of "Pill! Pill! Pill!" echoing in my ear. Seems I looked thirsty and String Bean was giving me a drink, but spilled it all over me, the couch, the floor and herself in the process.

What a lovely way to wake up from a nap!

I can give you an exact count of the number of times Mr. Bean has been spilled, on peed on, pooped on, puked on or otherwise led to demise by our toddler. Two. The one and only time String Bean flung her poo, he stepped in it. The one and only time she pooped in the bath tub, he was in there with her. (Thank goodness I do not have any poop stories such as these to share.)

Can I even begin to count the number of times these same maladies have hit me? Not even close. Too numerous to count. Too dreadful to remember.

Oh, motherhood.

Fecal Fascination

Why are toddlers fascinated with fecal matter? I hope we don't find any more lying around at our house!

Spring Colds

String Bean and I are both suffering from colds. We can't breathe through our noses and most of our day is spent coughing. (There is nothing sadder or cuter than a little toddler coughing, especially when you get the stink-eye after each cough.)

I hope this is short-lived. *cough, cough*

Don't Do It!

Have you ever had a day where you did not let your toddler sleep? It really is a sight to behold. Despite your best intentions, this is not advisable. Here are the reasons why in no particular order:

1. Crying
2. Whining
3. No time to finish a thought or sentence.
4. Mischief
5. Other kids asking you what's wrong with your kid.
6. Strangers giving you weird looks when you pull you kid out of the car without their coat on and rush in the store because that's the only nap your kid got was en route to the store and you're afraid putting their coat on will wake them up. (It is 35 degrees out! A heatwave!)
7. Not being able to sit without a child on your lap who is probably whining or crying.
8. Diaper changes become a hassle because they bring on the fits of rage (in your child, not your own, I hope).
9. Fits of rage
10. This always ends up being the day dad works late. Even if it isn't scheduled that way, it will happen.

Take it from me. This is unpleasant and you do not want to have to do it. Wait...what is that I hear? Oh, fussing and whining. Better go.