Poops

String Bean sat on the potty yesterday and tried to "push out the poopies" and was thrilled when some came out. Yes, I know this is a discussion only a mother of a toddler could love. Please note the name of this blog.

Upon finishing her business in the potty, she decided to call her family and friends and share her success. As always, Pop was the first on the list. Luckily, Nana was with him. Next it was Ama and Grandpa. Auntie Carolyn soon followed. Then Rob and Connie. After that, she wanted to call Lucy, so we did. After she hung up with Lucy's voice mail, she wanted to call Snoopy and Charlie Brown. (Which leads me to believe that the Lucy we called wasn't THE Lucy she was intending, but oh, well.) She finished the night of calling by calling Cashew, who is 2 1/2. Cashew simply said, "Hi, String Bean!" the entire conversation long.

Other than the call to Cashew, all other calls went like this:

String Bean (SB): Hi!
Mom or Dad (M/D): Tell them what you did.
SB: Poopies!
M/D: Where did you do the poopies?
SB: Potty!
M/D: What did you get for doing poopies on the potty?
SB: Chock (translation: chocolate)
M/D: Tell them your name.
SB now spells her name instead of saying her name.
M/D: Do you want to count?
SB: One, Two, Free, Four, Five, Six, Eye!
M/D: Say "Bye-bye!"
SB: Bye-bye! (long pause) Insert name of who you are calling.
Abruptly hang up.

Rescue 911

Remember that show? They detailed stories of real emergencies, reenacted them, and highlighted the heroes who saved the lives of the people being profiled. I could have been on an episode of that show tonight!

I got a phone call around 6:15 pm. I didn't recognize the number or the name. I answered anyway and heard heavy breathing that was obviously coming from an old person. I said "hello" several times before I got a response. The old man said, "I think I'm having another heart attack!" and continued with his heavy breathing.

My response was, "Sir, you have the wrong number, but I am going to call an ambulance for you." Heavy breathing continued for 10 or 15 more seconds while I grabbed my cell phone so I could continue to talk to him. He hung up just as a 911 operator answered the phone.

I gave the operator the phone number from my caller ID and the name associated with it. Then, I got to work on Google. Found out the number was coming from a local retirement community. I Googled the last name and our city and found the Facebook page of this man's son. I confirmed it was the right person via photos on Facebook where the dad was tagged and looked to fit the mold of someone who might be having a second heart attack. (He was pictured with an oxygen tube and tank and was obviously elderly).

I left a message on the answering machine for the son. Hopefully they were able to connect, and hopefully Glenn is okay!

If I hear any updates, I'll be sure to let you know.

Football Widow

The football season brings great joy to Mr. Bean. He can often be heard singing, "It's the most wonderful time of the year...." as he dons his Chicago Bears jersey. Sunday afternoon naps are scheduled around the game times.

Phone calls to Mr. Bean's brother are frequent during games. Boys are invited over to our house to watch the festivities. And I can't carry on a conversation with any of them except possibly during the commercials. It all depends on how horrible or awesome the play was before the commercial break.

Halftime is my saving grace, but is occasionally trumped by a quick snooze to prepare for the second half.

The final preseason game is on tonight. Its conclusion marks the beginning of the football season and brings along with it temporary widow-dom for me and millions of wives across the nation.

Should I start a support group for this?

Awkward Phone Calls

I mentioned earlier this week that I have been trying to find some former teammates of mine from a missions trip I took 17 years ago. Let me recap just one set of phone calls trying to find "Kristen".

Phone call #1:
Me: Hi, is Kristen available?
Him: You have the wrong number. Do you want Kristen ____?
Me: Yes.
Him: Ok. Her phone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX.
Me: Thanks!

Phone call #2 using the number that I got from phone call #1:

Me: Hi, is Kristen home?
Him: Not right now can I take a message?
Me: Um...first let me make sure I have the right number. Is Kristen's maiden name ____ and is she from Graham, WA?
Him: No.
Me: Oh. Ok. I have the wrong number then. Sorry!

After searching on the internet and finding yet another possible phone number, I call it and get an answering machine. Since I don't feel like leaving the awkward message. I hang up. Moments later, my phone rings:

Me: Hello?
Him: Yeah, you called me.
Me: Oh, I was looking for Kristen _____.
Him: Oh, this is the phone number for John ______ and __________ (some random guy's name).
Me: Oh, I guess I have the wrong number. I'm looking for a Kristen ____ married to a John ___ which is why I thought it was you.
Him: Oh, there are like 5 John _____s living in this area. Good luck.

I hope I don't have to make any more awkward phone calls tonight.